We often meet people in divorce consultations who are extremely frustrated and have trouble managing their daily lives due to the stress of divorce. We agree,
divorce is tough for spouses, children and even extended families at times. It is important that spouses find some mental peace during divorce with calm, collected mind and sound decision-making abilities.
Below are some tried and tested methods to maintain your sanity during the divorce.
Get a Trusted Lawyer and Tight Temporary Orders
It is crucial to get a trusted attorney who passes the “feel test.” Just like you pick a personal trainer, massage therapist, or hairdresser who you like, you will have to pick an attorney who you feel comfortable with and can discuss matters easily. Meet several before you make your decision. Schedule consultations and see how you feel about each attorney you meet.
It is equally important to get strong temporary orders in the beginning of divorce. Temporary orders are court orders that set ground rules on the couple’s finances during the pendency of divorce. They govern who gets to live in the house and who moves out; how much money can be withdrawn from bank accounts; what specific expenses can be paid through the bank accounts; what accounts cannot be used; what accounts can be used to pay the attorney’s fees; child custody schedule for both parents; amount of temporary child support and spousal support etc. In essence, well crafted temporary orders are essential for spouses to feel safe and financially protected during the pendency of the divorce.
Do One Fun Thing Each Day:
You must Do One Fun Thing Each Day. This could be yoga, exercise, meditation, cooking, lunch with your close friend or binge watching of your favorite TV show. Carve out one (1) hour each day and make it your “me time” to do that one thing that you find fun and relaxing. You will reap its benefits in the long run.
Find Your Support System
Find people who you can trust, vent out to and confide in without hesitation. It is very important that you have a support system of friends or family who you have on speed dial, and who will be there when needed while you’re going through a divorce. Not only may they listen to your problems but they may give you third party perspective on issues that you may not be able to see yourself.
Therapy is amazing and it’s for everyone. It not only lets you vent out to someone, but it helps structure your feelings, cope with emotions, and address deep rooted problems. It good for your mental health and it will help bring better results in the divorce if you are calm, collected, and in control of your emotions. Get Therapy! It’s Works!
Keep Moving Forward
Look forward and keep moving. If you were expecting to change departments at work, do it. If you were thinking of starting a new venture, do it. If you take any medication, don’t stop. If you have travel plans, don’t quit them. Just keep moving forward. You will have legal professionals to take care of the divorce process, mental health professionals to help maintain your calm, and temporary court orders to protect your finances. You just have to focus on your life and move forward.
Come Up with a Cordial Co-Parenting Plan
If you’re going through a divorce and have children, remember, you will have to co-parent your children with your ex-spouse until the youngest child turns eighteen (18) years. You may have to make joint decisions on medical care of the children, surgeries, education, and even inheritance among others. Try to sit down with your ex and come up with ways to co-parent effectively and without conflict.
Remember – This Too Shall Pass
Time heals all wounds. Always remember that the time will pass and you will find someone to love again. All the wounds that you feel will eventually heal, and if you follow all the steps above, you will come out on the other end physically healthy and emotionally strong.